When are you having kids?

Originally posted on July 21, 2019

Don’t tell me you haven’t been asked this question before! If you haven’t it’s because you don’t have a partner and, if that’s the case, people would ask you: “why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

Ugh, the worse part is that the closer I get to 30, the more I get asked this question. *takes a deep breath* Here I go…

For those who know me, know that I am straight up about everything and I don’t hesitate to say: ” ’cause I don’t like kids,” or the typical “I’m not ready yet.” What I’m really trying to say is I don’t want to have kids, at least not now– because if I wanted one, I would’ve gotten one already, right? *Amy, stop being sarcastic.*

I once dared to say “I’m not ready yet” and that person dared to say: “oh, honey, one is never ready to become a mom.” Uhm… you are probably right but we all have different reasons not to do something, right? Or the typical: “you need to have babies now because the older you get, the more difficult it gets to have babies yada, yada, yada,” or even worse: “when your kids are 20, you’ll be so old and decrepit.”

I’ve heard it all and, to be honest, I’ve opted to stay quiet and analyze where the “comment” comes from and I just think to myself: what in the world? lol. People need to understand that a woman’s purpose in this world is not only to conceive. Why don’t we women get asked how we’re doing? or if we are happy or trying to achieve something in life (other than a man/family)? Having a kid is not just having the kid and the story ends– it’s much more than that! Having a kid means you need to be ready to take care of someone other than yourself. It means one needs to know how to be able to provide for that kid, not just food and education (academic) but also you need to be prepared to teach that little person about morals and ethics which obviously this world society knows nothing about. If I plan to have kids, I need to plan how to raise the kid right in order for he/she to make a difference in this world and not just be “another” being in this planet. But above all else, I still need to learn about all this that I mentioned so I can pass it on to future generations.

Do you know how much of an impact a single human being can have in this world if we only raise them right? I mean, I’m not saying that someone needs to be so ethically right and stuff like that in order to be a good human being but at least this is the way I feel when it comes to bringing someone in this world.

For this and other reasons… I am not ready.

I must say I don’t have anything against those who have decided to have babies at a young age but just know that we all have different timing for different stages in life. We, as women, already feel society’s pressure to demonstrate that we are independent and capable of doing anything other than the “natural” gift of being a mom, and frankly, we don’t need another woman asking us why we haven’t had kids yet. Instead, let’s support each other in whatever each one of us is trying to achieve in order to break away from society’s standards.

Xo, Amy